if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
