I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
