so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
