Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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