What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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