I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize