can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
