Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
