We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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