the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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