There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
