Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
