the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize