That's intense
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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