She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
