My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
