I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
