I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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