Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
