If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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