ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize