no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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