I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
