...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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