3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
