just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
