I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize