someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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