Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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