Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
