Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Still dying that you shit outside
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
