We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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