You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
