Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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