i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize