And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
