i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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