I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
