i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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