hotel room ftw
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
