I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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