Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
