I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize