You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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