Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
