I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
