just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just found a bag of teeth...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
