Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
