I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
