i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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