Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
