We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
