I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
