i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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