I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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