Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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