Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
