I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
