she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
