i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
is it fun? or sober?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
