so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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