Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize