She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize