I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
