Betty ford says i'm here all night
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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