do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
